Domonic Taylor’s journey to fatherhood began suddenly with an unexpected death.
It was near Thanksgiving in 2023, and Taylor, an educational assistant with Albuquerque Public Schools, had taken a 12-year-old student shopping for holiday clothes.
The boy, Elijah Armijo, lived with his grandfather, and when they returned to the house, they found him dead.
Two months earlier, the grandfather, ready to move into a retirement home, had asked Taylor if he would consider taking Elijah in. He was then working in Social Emotional Support Services at the school district.
“Being in education for years, I’ve seen a lot of kids deal with the system, different situations that life just kind of throws on these kids,” Taylor said. “I couldn’t stand back and just watch another kid be thrown to the system.”
So Taylor became a Generation Z father, a cohort born between 1997 and 2012 with a new attitude about parenting that includes spending more time with their children than previous generations of dads did.
Taylor is one of several Gen Z New Mexico fathers who say their all-in approach to parenthood has been significantly shaped by their own life experiences.
They also agree wholeheartedly: Their children come first, no matter what.
Nathan Burton/The New Mexican
“Being a single mom, single dad — it’s not easy,” said Joel Estrada Martinez, 26, who co-parents his 7-year-old son with his ex-partner. “But it’s not impossible, either. And the only thing that we’ve got to do is not give up for them, you know? Just continue and continue.”
‘I’ve enjoyed it all’
Taylor is Elijah’s legal guardian, and he hopes to have the adoption process complete by the end of the year. His favorite part of fatherhood, he said, is the whole thing.
“Even the hard days — I’ve enjoyed it all,” Taylor said. “Just seeing him grow into the person he’s wanting to become, not the person that the situation he’s in is supposed to make you become.”
Elijah is now 14 and going into his sophomore year of high school. The pair have traveled together; Taylor recalled a ski trip to Colorado where Elijah skied and Taylor slid, skis askew, down the snow-covered hill.
Taylor has made a point to include Elijah in his family traditions, like the annual pilgrimage to El Santuario de Chimayó. But he also encourages visits with Elijah’s biological relatives.
“I believe in that old saying — I can’t say it, it’s in Spanish, but you don’t know where you’re going if you can’t remember where you’ve been,” Taylor said. “So, I’ve made sure to keep that connection.”
For Martinez, who lives in Santa Fe and works at a car dealership, the best part of fatherhood is having a built-in partner for life. He and his son, Abraham — who plays baseball and soccer and does jiu-jitsu — like to attend sports matches together, Martinez said.
Martinez regularly tells his son he’s his best friend.
“Spending time with him is one of my favorite things,” he said, “and the best thing that’s happened to me.”
Kevin Castro, a 22-year-old mechanic from Santa Fe, said he embraces all of fatherhood with love. He enjoys experiencing the world through the eyes of his 2½-year-old son, Axel.
Jim Weber/The New Mexican
Their family often goes up to a cabin in Colorado, Castro said, and the most recent trip was especially memorable. His son, who had then recently turned 2, was able to dip his toes in the water and run around.
But it’s not all easy. The “terrible 2s,” Castro said, are real.
“They don’t know what’s right from wrong,” he said. “So, sometimes, we could be out in public, and he can be very loud at, let’s say, a restaurant, or he could start throwing things. I think a lot of people from the outside looking in would be like, ‘Well, why don’t you do anything?’ But sometimes, they don’t get it at this point in their life.”
Challenges
Castro, who is in a long-term relationship with his partner, noted it is far more difficult to raise a child on one’s own — particularly for members of Gen Z.
“I have a couple of people that I know that are also Gen Z-ers that are young, that are raising children alone,” Castro said. “And I’ve seen the task and the toll it takes on them.”
For Taylor, being a single father has led to adversity, he said — particularly in the guardianship process. Taylor repeatedly faced questions about whether he’s been married (he hasn’t).
“I’ve worked with special needs, behavior programs, regular ed, so I’ve kind of given my life trying to be an advocate for kids,” Taylor said. “And when I started the process for guardianship, having someone look at me like, ‘Well, what’s your motive behind it,’ that was really difficult for me to deal with. But, at the end of the day, between me and God and my son, I know what my motive was.”
While seeking a restraining order against one of Elijah’s biological relatives, a judge ordered Taylor to call the state Children, Youth and Families Department and request a home check for himself, Taylor said.
Amid a tumultuous economic landscape, Martinez said money was the biggest hurdle he faced with parenting a few years ago when his son would ask to go to McDonald’s for an ice cream cone.
“It was really hard co-parenting and paying child support, still making my son survive in my home,” Martinez said.
He worked with the Santa Fe-based organization Fathers New Mexico, which manages the cases of struggling young dads and connects families with resources they might otherwise not be able to access. He now makes double the income he used to.
Taylor said he works three jobs to ensure he and his son have what they need — and some of what Elijah wants. He echoed an adage his grandmother favored: ‘’If you waited until you could afford kids, nobody would have kids.”
A new approach
Martinez and Castro said growing up with strict parents has led them to take a different tack.
Castro said his parents were extremely tough on him, but he aims to be gentler with his son. He emphasizes his own patience while pulling his son aside and talking with him when the toddler cries or falls.
Courtesy photo
“Just because he’s a toddler, I think right now the gentle approach is the approach I’ve been taking,” Castro said. “I know a lot of people that grew up with stricter parents, and now that they have their own kids, they always say, ‘I’m going to be nicer.’ ”
Martinez, who was born in Mexico, said corporal punishment was normal throughout his childhood. He tries not to be “too hard” on his son, he said, and he has never used corporal punishment. He also ensures that whatever happens at work — especially bad days — stays at work. At home, he prioritizes his son.
“When I go home, I try to be the most supportive as I can to him,” Martinez said.
Taylor said he frames a lot of his parenting around the way his mother parented him, although she was strict. He aims to teach Elijah that all actions have consequences — good or bad.
He also makes an old-school point to always enforce family dinner at the table. But on Father’s Day, it’ll be donuts.
“Sometimes it catches me off guard,” Taylor said. “I’m like, ‘Wait, Father’s Day’s for me.’ ”
